Way to go Braun!

Forget BMW, Audi, and even Mercedes. Braun's new commercial claims their shaver displays the best in German engineering.

Well, I'm just glad that Braun is paving the way in hygiene.

Speaking about hygiene, while in Dresden I somehow missed the opportunity to visit the hygiene museum. Yes, there is such a thing. In Prague there is a torture museum and in Iceland there is a Phallological Museum (that means penis).

So, what museum does not exist (if you're thinking Dirt, your too late)?

(yes, that Gebaerstuhl has handles, I want that)

Better than glue Lebowski

I just finished watching The Big Lebowski, again. I love that movie, it’s funny. Although the plot seems a bit bizarre and controlling, I believe the characters move the movie. Perhaps the funniest part, and the part I have seen countless times, is when Walter is scattering Donny’s remains.

“Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors... and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and... up to... Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.”

Although reading it is not as funny as the monologue by John Goodman I believe it is still something special. Take the first line, being a good bowler comes before being a good man. But, within this hilarious monologue is a profound message. The second line, “He was one of us,” is almost powerful. Despite how bizarre the world can get, it’s the brotherhood (or sisterhood) that holds it together. Like the correspondent in Stephen Crain’s Open Boat who wanted to know that the Captain was awake while the shark was near the boat, not because it would have made the shark any different but because it would have made seeing it more bearable.

Not everyone gets caught up in a complex scam of kidnapping a porn star, or finds themselves in a bathtub size boat an oars reach from a shark, but life is crazy and it’s the friends that hold everything down/together.

I am fascinated by the idea of letting random occurrences direct my life.

I was listening to the Barenaked Ladies when I was hit by a creative pulse. I wanted to write something, anything. Then it happened, the song changed to Its All Been Done. Well, that was discouraging. It's not that this was a new concept to me but it just hit me at the right/wrong time.

Thinking about random occurrences, I am reminded of when I was in High School. During High School I went to a, not affiliated with the school but located only one hundred yards from the school, sort of seminary. I had a problem with every teacher at the seminary institute because they were to literal. I often thought that if I would go to hell just for watching a rated R movie I’m not sure I wanted to go to Heaven. Then I took a class from a Sister Auchman (that’s what we called our teachers, Sister and Brother, kinda familial), and she was my salvation. She was fun and really knew her stuff. Despite the rules, I requested her again the next semester, telling the admissions lady that if I did not get into Sister Auchman’s class I just would not come. (This is not random, and a long story for as small of a point I am trying to make.) While in class, Sister Auchman noticed that some of her room decorations had a peculiar phenomenon, all the orange cards on a specific poster had “O”s for their first letter. When she saw this she yelled “THE CHURCH IS TRUE.” Most everyone in the class laughed because they knew she was making fun of the before mentioned, while some kids did not think it was funny at all.

Maybe I am going to hell.

Just because you see the Virgin Mary in your hash-browns, you get a flat tire on the way to the doctors, or you hear a discouraging song before you start to write doesn’t mean the world is in a strange balance that influences your every action. I guess it makes some people feel good and I have no problems with that, but don’t tell me that the Mormon pioneers were saved by god when the Mississippi froze over (it was cold and the same thing happened to the Vandals when trying to escape the Huns).

So, what you're saying is...

It’s interesting how cultures attain sayings like “thinking outside the box” and “easier said than done.” Although the meanings of these sayings are not lost to me, I don’t think they are as effective at making the point than some think.


First, “thinking outside the box,” really? So, you want to say someone, perhaps you, is not thinking in a normal way, not strapped by the normal process of thoughts. That’s great, but perhaps you could put a little more thought into the saying. Saying “thinking outside the box” is as about “inside the box” as you can get.

Second, “easier said than done.” What is not easier said than done? I guess breathing subconsciously might be easier done than said, but comparing that to lifting two tons of salt with your pinky toe is quite absurd.

This Planet

I’ve been watching “Planet Earth” on the Discovery Channel. It really is fascinating. I have all the respect in the world for the cameramen and women that filmed that show, but more interesting to me is the strange parallels between the wild and human society.

I have chosen one specific example of wild/civilized correspondence; attracting a mate. It seems like in most every case the males are trying to attract the females. And although Madonna may have given girls more courage, men seem to make up the majority of the pursuers in the dating world.

Within homo-sapiens, women are far more attractive (lets be honest, guys are quintessential utilitarian), however, males are often trying to convince the females of their stature. Animals in the wild often expand their feathers or blow up their cheeks to impress women. Interestingly, almost every time I have had someone help me buy shoes in a department store they suggest that I should wear one size bigger because that is what most find more comfortable. That’s crazy. Clown sized shoes are not comfortable. But I can’t imagine why guys would buy larger shoes.

Finally, to strengthen the correlation, dancing. A little bird in the South American rain forest (the bird of paradise) spends all day preparing the cluttered floor where he latter dances a ridiculous boogie to attract women. Women, the only reason why a guy will dance with you is because he wants to get into your pants, honestly. We look stupid, our friends will make fun of us for months, and slow songs make us want to puke.