That reminds me of when

As a kid I constantly feared that someone was playing a joke on me. Not the kind of joke with a punch-line, but the kind of joke that is meant to trick someone.

The trick was that everything in my life seemed too coincidental. One day in school we were talking about Julius Cesar (the ruler of Rome and the victim in Shakespeare’s play) and the very next day The Simpsons made a reference to the Ides of March. Although these coincidences were happening at a normal rate, I was convinced that my life was somehow dishonest. I was convinced that someone was taking delight in my confusion and waiting for the perfect moment to spring out and say “look into the hidden camera.”

I realize now how paranoid and self-absorbed this notion was. I also realize that my obsession with chance is just an ever-increasing exponent –my fixation with it raises my awareness of it and my increased awareness increases my fixation. All this considered, I’m still surprised by the overabundance of coincidences in my life.

One day the trickster is going to slip up and I’ll be the one laughing at him.