Perhaps the most ridiculous ticket ever!

I just started working at a bakery and although I don’t do the baking, sometimes I work pretty early. This morning I worked at 5:30. At one I had some errands to run, including buying some deodorant –you know, legitimate stuff. All said and done I fell asleep again at around five.

When I woke up I noticed that the wind had stopped and the ground was covered in about three inches of show. This disappoints me a little because I like to run in the mornings, but snow makes that difficult. Oh-well.

I noticed the time was eleven and at three in the morning they start to ticket cars that are parked on the street. So I did the responsible thing and went out to move my car off the road.

Under my windshield wiper and three inches of snow was a ticket. I thought to myself “hey, I’m not too late, what gives?” As it turns out I received the ticket for “Parking During Emergency!” What the hell does that mean?

First off, how was I supposed to know there was an emergency? Second, how was I supposed to know that I can’t park during an emergency. And third, how big of an emergency is it if they are handing out parking tickets?

This has to be the biggest waste of resources/scam I’ve ever seen. I’m so pissed at the city right now. How can they get away with this? And charge one hundred dollars?

I'll have the glazed doughnut

I have recently gained employment at a European style bakery. The bread and pastries are premium. I enjoy the job.

I seem to get along with my coworkers fine, but there is surprisingly little time to get to know them. Every minute is thought-out. If the customers are not lined up out the door there is a list of daily tasks. The days go fast, the money is OK, and it’s a whole new experience for me.

I have run into one problem with this bakery. The pretentious customers. I realize the bakery has a European feel, but it’s still in the States. My first day a lady asked me for a “qua-saw.” I had her repeat herself three times and finally asked her to point to what she wanted, a croissant. Another lady asked for something that started with an “L” and ended with a mumble. It was kind of like “laavaaa.” “Oh, you mean a latte?”

Seriously, if you’re from another country (like many of the customers are) I understand the accent, but you don’t sound sophisticated. You sound like an ass.

So, now I want to deconstruct the customers stupidity. First off the “qua-saw.” Croissants are not French. The first recorded croissant was in Vienna (that’s in today’s Austria). The name “croissant” comes from Latin/old French, and old French was influenced by the Germanic languages more than modern French (and for the pronunciation record Fr. krwah-sahn; Eng. kruh-sahnt). “Latte” is straight up Italian. Have you ever known an Italian to mumble?

The problem is that English has an absurd history. The Hundred Years War with France caused a dichotomy of language. The rulers spoke French and the “people” spoke English. Consequently French based words usually represent “high class” society. But that was five hundred years ago, get over it.

Luckily I don't have to talk to them much.