my lambretta late for what?: food and pubes

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

food and pubes

Years ago I saw a Conan Obrien show where a man claimed he could ruin any moment with one word.

Scene: man and women in a romantic restaurant looking into each others eyes. Enter man from the left, running across the stage and stops just long enough to say his line at the table.
Man: *Pubes.*

One day during fifth grade the entire grade gathered together and then split up according to gender. The girls went off into some secret magical room (I could only imagine) and the boys watched the *Butter Cream Gang.* The girls came back with doughnuts and all the boys complained (at which point the female staff probably made stupid jokes like *I^d trade all my female issues for a doughnut any day*)

When it was the boy^s turn to get the sex talk I was severely disappointed. I remember male teacher, I had never seen before, told us that *during this point in our lives we may see some physical changes with our bodies.* And we didn’t get any doughnuts.

After school that same day my dad asked me if we could go on a special daddy son date? Sure, this usually meant eating out. We went to Chi Chi^s and I ordered a beef burrito with black beans. I^m pretty sure my dad gave me some important/sound advice that day, but all I remember is that I didn^t like the black beans but because I didn^t want to disappoint my dad while eating out I ate the whole thing.

I don^t know what the fascination with food and puberty is, but all this reminiscing is making me hungry.

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