Singing with Axes

I’m not sure if horizontal lines are supposed to make a person look thin or fat, but the lady I saw today had no hope of looking thin regardless of the lines on her shirt (they were horizontal).
This lady was at the grocery store with a fourteen-year-old boy in her cart. The boy looked awkward because he was too big for the cart and because he was movin’ to music only he could hear.
Once the two got closer to me the boy said “hey, I know the words to this song,” and he continued to sing the song “I’m a sinner, I’m a saint….”
I don’t care what sexual orientation this boy is, but someone needs to tell him to shut up before he gets his head beat in by his schoolmates. Sure, that song was popular only a few years ago, but it’s Meredith Brooks.
I feel bad for the kid because, despite my efforts to grow up by the time I was ten, I got caught singing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles song while in Fourth Grade.
Matt Garret, having heard me sing the reviled song, challenged me to name ten bands other than the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to prove I was not a loser. The problem with this challenge was that in Fourth Grade I knew only one band, Guns and Roses.
In High School my conscience received therapeutic revenge. I overheard Matt Garret in a conversation about fighting (which, apparently, he thought he knew a lot about). When someone suggested that he could win a fight with an axe, Matt Garret said “it doesn’t matter how many times you cut me, at least I’ll get one hit in and that’s all I need.”
So, singing out loud in public is almost always a bad idea (karaoke being the only exception), and Guns and Roses still rocks.