Jeanious?

I’ve been telling everyone that I’m a genius and now I have proof.

Congratulations, Thomas!
Your IQ score is 140

I received this score after talking a test from tickle.com. I am one hundred percent sure that tickle.com supplies credible tests, so go ahead, see if you are as smart as me (although I doubt it, seriously, 140! I should run for president or something)

p.s. There was one question that I had a little trouble with, so hopefully there is someone out there that is better with numbers than I am (doubtful) and can explain this for me.
7. John likes 400 but not 300; he likes 100 but not 99; he likes 3600 but not 3700. Which does he like?
(a)900
(b)1000
(c)1100
(d)1200

Blogger vs. Vlogger

I will admit that my favorite part about Blogging is reading, but I feel like I should contribute to this community so I do write occasionally. I like to find strangers blogs and rape them of their privacy. I enjoy blogs that tell stories of their day-to-day life, but more so I like blogs that attempt (and sometime achieve) philosophical ideas. Living in Utah I get enough Theological advice and ideals that this subject rarely entertains me.

I like the philosophical attempts because I believe that this is a clearer window into a person’s essence (or Other for those who have read Lacan). When some one claims that they have achieved some sort of enlightenment from a ketchup dispenser I get really excited. I feel like I am plugged into their brain and downloading precious virgin ideas.



But this excitement is fading. I have found another addiction, Vlogging. I have a hard time accepting the level voyeurism allowed and encouraged online. I no longer have to download ideas because people are letting my just walk right into their living rooms (so to speak, I would never actually just walk into some ones living room, seriously).


-This also brings up a potentially heated argument for me, reading a book is not better for someone that watching a movie. Movies are great because they utilize multiple mediums and books are great because they can potentially allow one imagination to really fly, but I will never say one is better than the other.
-This voyeurism has some heavy lines. As everyone has seen, or heard about, on Dateline, the child molesters obviously have a hard time obeying the rules of online voyeurism (and these people receive no sympathy from me).

I just watched a man argue with a mannequin, a woman communicate with her imaginary monkey/baby, a fire from start to finish, and a poor kid attempt to saddle a horse. I am in love with this unique world, the energetic and pointless. My responsibility to this community is slim, but I would like to contribute and someday will but I assure you it will be more on the pointless side of Vlogging.

"A World to Win"

Although my life, while unemployed, is full of fascinating stories, I repeatedly write dull uneventful narratives, sorry. Then again, who am I really writing sorry to, hello?

The other day I was reading a book I picked up at a thrift store, Upton Sinclair’s A World to Win. I am fascinated by the plot because it is about a secret agent during WW II, but it is not the typical Michael Crichton or Robert Ludlum. The protagonist is constantly second guessing himself and his intent (you know, that whole moral dilemma thing) which is specifically interesting because every other book written about Nazi Germany is always “ewww, Germany bad! The USA, or England good.” Even still my favorite part is the infrequent bizarre comment or reference to the protagonist (the infrequent part is what makes this so enjoyable because books like Everything is Illuminated are great, but it only takes a couple pages before you know to expect a man living with a saw blade stuck in his head?)


(A monument to Erich Kästner in Dresden, where some of this book takes place, and its books, get it?)



This novel is, in my opinion, better written than The Jungle, so, why is it not recognized as such? Is it, perhaps the ending which I haven’t read yet? Or is it the fact that The Jungle had such a huge effect on the meat packing industry that it overshadowed A World to Win? If this is the case it is another distressing story of a writer with the “one hit wonder syndrome.” It seams as if this syndrome is much more common among writer than musicians.


(The first image that pulled up in Google under "The Jungle")



Anyway, to the reason for bringing up this book. Because I bought this book at a thrift store it was not new, at all. This particular book was published in 1946! That makes the book sixty years old. This surprised me because while reading this seemingly well-worn book I came upon two pages that didn’t receive a proper cut. When books are published the pages are printed onto huge sheets of paper, usually with eight pages per sheet. And once the pages are folded into the correct order they are cut down. But in this specific case, these two pages were not aligned correct to receive a full cut. What does this all mean? These two pages have never been read before! What a shame. A former library book by an influential eminent author has never been read through completely.


(This picture came up under "Printing Press," I think it is obvious why, Tina Fey, Printing!)



One wonderful thing about books is that they rarely ware out, but this book is in no danger of any such fate yet. Maybe I will never finish the book and miss more stubbornly loving pages. Maybe I will be the only one to ever read this particular book, in which case, Lanny Budd (the protagonist) you secrets are safe with me.

Thievery

Am I the only person who thinks about deviant behavior, all the time? The other day I was at an electronics store and I noticed someone walking out with a CD they just bought. The alarm went off and the casher just waved the customer out as she turned off the alarm. I then began to think of all the thieves who did it wrong. “All they needed to do is buy one CD and stuff twenty down their pants. The reaction will be similar as the above as long as a couple variables are taken care of. First, clean cut. Seriously, the smart criminals never look like a criminal and the dumb ones always claim ‘hey man, your stereotyping,’ but still get caught. Second, middle of the day when only one casher is working with a line of customers. And most important, suburbia USA.”

The more I thought about it the more I thought about how to improve it. “Bring a friend who acts like a stranger. Have the friend steal all the CDs and walk out the same time as you. If you begin to walk back with your bag open with a questioned look on your face the friend is sure to walk out with no hassle.”

Even better, “Do the same as above only when you finish your purchase claim ‘I want to check out some thing before I go’ and exchange the bought CD with the same CD that has not been demagnetized. Doing this will ensure that the casher believes he/she made a mistake and demagnetized the new CD (the first CD could then be picked up on a second visit and returned for a refund).”

This only takes my mind a few minutes to work out while waiting in the line. And its not just the electronics store. Every convenient store reminds me how stupid some thieves are. You know that little measuring strip at the door of every convenience store? Well, wear high shoes.

This scares me. Will I just snap one day and start running around shooting up every store clerk just because I know they will never be able to trace a shotgun shell? Is the only thing holding me back the financial situation I am in right now? If I loose everything to some fluke accident will I begin to sell stolen furniture out of the back of my el camino?
Maybe it is the same impulse inhibitor that stops me from driving off of Wasatch road as it cuts just below mount Olympus. Everyday I see a storm drain I want to throw my keys or cell phone down it (the fact that I just purchased a RAZR did not help this impulse). Everyday I see a cop I want to make a quick grab for his gun, nock over a ten-foot display of tuna, or just punch my professor across the jaw.


(No caption needed)

If it is the same inhibitor I’ll know the first time I ram a q-tip in my ear that I had better get a hair cut because I’ve always wanted to be the smart kind of thief.

The other day I was riding my slow-ass-vespa down university parkway. Luckily I was going down hill (I don’t take this hill going up because of the fore mentioned vehicle situation) and doing about fifty-five. Although I was keeping up with traffic a purple mazda screamed (not zoomed) past me at about seventy, not an appropriate speed, and came only feet from my front tire. I always enjoy it when people race their cars in traffic only to get stuck behind the same traffic light as me and in this particular case, I pulled up just in front of him.
He rolled down the passenger window and said “hey, dude” (a sure sign of intelligence) “will you do me a favor?”
Not really upset about cutting me off, I said “what do you have in mind?”
“Do you see the Bug a couple cars behind us?”
Indeed I did, and he continued “will you try to slow them up for us, you know, swerve in front of them. We are having a race.” As if I was as brain dead as him and needed the situation explained, 'really, I thought that you wanted me to slow him up because of the gas price,' seriously, is everyone else you talk to that dim?
I obviously didn’t want to put myself in extra danger of another crazy utah valley 'racer,' but I didn’t want to just say no because this guy seemed like a real winner (you know the type, he was probably pissed off because he only has six pink collared shirts, and they were all dirty today).
So I told him “sorry, but I like Volkswagens and I hate mazdas.” I know, this is a weak insult, but if you could see my expressionless face it would be much more rewarding.
For some reason he must have thought I was some kind of prostitute because he then offered my twenty bucks to see if I would reconsider.
Does money really buy everything? This is a sick society. I enjoy the convenience of promissory notes as much as the next person, but is that the limits of our society? This mazda driver saw a problem and thought “hey, I want it my way (no subtle hint at burger king) and I am not getting it. If I reward that guy with materialism he should conform.”
Next time some guy almost takes my front tire out from under me and offers me money to be his bitch, I will reply “no thanks, I will however do it if you rip up twenty dollars and shove it.…”